Ode to the Agitator 4000

Oh, you beast.
You stupid fucking thing.
Get out of me.
And take this shit in my lungs with you.

You force me to breathe at a pace that is
unnatural
uncooperative
unAmerican
unHuMan

But thank you.
Thank you.
THANK you.

You've done more for me than any
Hornet-stung bronco I've ever ridden.


Today, at noon, your staff unstrapped you from the the Agitator 4000 (known in more educated circles as an HFPV, or VDR-4®). They stopped the paralytic. And they've now saddled up a totally run-of-the-mill ventilator. As of 6:30pm, Jill said you were having a smooth ride.

Ahhhh...

This is good news. One: This staff doesn't mess around, so if they say you're ready to move on to a smoother ride, then you've made headway. Two: You may be able to be conscious soon. We'll get to ask this question tomorrow.

Tomorrow, Lee drives back to Denver. I'll stay on until we get a few more things going with the house and we can see your eyes for more than a spooky couple of seconds and actually communicate. I hope that's not too much to ask for in the next week. I don't want to pressure you or sound ungrateful, but boy oh boy would it be great to "talk." Today, Lee was burning a cd for someone and played the recording you and Mom made of us in that farmhouse outside of Little Rock. He'd transferred it for me to digital format. You begin the recording with, "Here we are. It's a balmy summer day here in Arkansas. The urine machine--hey, get that penny outta your mouth--the urine machine is--"

And I just started bawling. The sound of your voice was too much for me in my starved state.

You're doing great, buckaroo. Take your time. Heal fully. But you know. Don't dilly dally, okay?

In other news:
Melissa Hall was able to pass the word along to Roy. And since that connection was made, I've been delighted by Outlaw mail in my inbox. I am also hearing consistently from the Riverside contingency. Also, the other day at Sammie's, we went in to see Terry and the whole bar asked after you. Daddy, you are so loved. By so many good people.

Asia and I each attended July 4th parties today. She and Chaise entertained a few friends at his parents'. We had the Lopezes over to Mom's and Fred's. (They all are praying for you. And we're talking Dorothy-sized prayers.) Dixie Jo, Byron, Jeff, Eileen and the kids went to see Hurst's fireworks. Then, I joined Forrest at Dixie's for some post-fireworks conversation. Forrest has grrrreat stories from Italy. They're goodies. Can't wait for you to hear them.

Okay. It occurs to me as I write this that it's a bit perverse to cap off a week like this with barbecue and fireworks.

Cue rim shot. (Then crickets.)

I love you, Dad.